Loves me, loves me not
by cheshirekat516
Summary: What do you do when the person you love marries someone else? Try to win them back at all costs or let them go? AU;AH. Lemons to come. Eventual E/B/J.


**AN: It makes no sense starting something new when I haven't updated anything else in so long but the urge hit me. Three A.M. and here it is. As per usual I don't own. No beta so sorry in advance for the mistakes.**

BPOV

"I do."

With those two words I watched my best friend and the love of my life marry someone else.

It was my own fault. I had never said how I felt, how I longed and how I wanted. Where did that leave me? At a church, wishing for once that I had been brave enough to say something, anything at all.

My tears would be taken for happy ones. Happiness at seeing someone I cared deeply for being made even happier.

Trapped in my own head I managed to miss their first kiss. It was done. Before God and family they had pledged their lives together.

Raising my face I looked to my counterpart, Edward, the best man. He too seemed to be tearing up. No doubt excited at the union between his best friend and his sister.

Unfairly I was jealous. He would only get more time with them while I would get less. His family was becoming larger while mine shrank.

As the happy couple walked down the aisle, her short dark hair close to his blond, Edward looked over to me. A concerned expression immediately crossed his beautiful face. I instantly felt bad about my jealous thoughts.

Smiling slightly, I shrugged as if to say, weddings, as an explanation. His face cleared as he seemed to accept my reassurance at face value. I could only hope he would chalk the moment up to women being emotional at these things.

Walking down the aisle we reached the doors to see the happy couple being pelted with birdseed. My love is always considerate of the animals. As soon as it was made known that the birds could choke on the rice, birdseed was the only option.

I sighed quietly and reminded myself that I couldn't say 'my love' even in my head. It would just break my heart all over again.

As the limos containing the bride and groom started to drive off into the sunset I gave myself one last indulgence. From this day on, I would only say these words as a friend and nothing more.

"I love you Alice."

EPOV

"I do."

With those two words I watched my best friend and the love of my life marry someone else.

Internally I was beating myself up, wondering why, in all these years, I never said anything. Just once opened my mouth and let it all spill out.

Alice was my step-sister and I would be happy for her. It was unfair to hold something like this against her. How could I blame her when she had never known the truth.

I took a moment to imagine it was me stating up there, vowing my eternal love and commitment. How I would smile in adoration and awe at taking this momentous step with someone I loved unconditionally.

Visions of the life we could have had together flash before my eyes. The passion of our honeymoon, the feeling of surprise at our first home together and the contentment and security in being together.

Time would now be limited as a new life began for the happy couple. I would be left behind as they settled into their lives together. No more long talks about useless fashions into the early hours of the morning. No more marathon shopping trips for things we didn't need.

I would be relegated to being the best friend and brother. It would have to be enough. Better to have something than nothing at all. I couldn't live with nothing.

The thought nearly brought tears to my eyes but I refused to let them fall. It wouldn't be considered 'manly' to cry at your step-sister's wedding. Crying at weddings was supposed to be what women did.

I had to stop doing that. Calling her my step-sister didn't make it any better. It wouldn't make the betrayal of trust and longing go away. I resolved to start calling her sister in my thoughts as I usually did out loud.

Turning my head I was relieved to see them walking down the aisle. I was grateful to have missed their first kiss as I don't know if I could have born it. My eyes met those of Bella, the maid-of-honor, and I was concerned at the look of longing on her face. Tears were spilling down her fair skin.

A weak smile appeared and she shrugged slightly. The poor thing was probably so moved by Alice's happiness. For a moment I envied her ability to openly shed the tears I wanted to let fall. I took her arm and started our own walk to the doors.

As the newlywed couple stepped into the limos I promised myself that after today I would speak these words as only someone considered a friend and brother, nothing more, would.

"I love you Jasper."

**AN: All constructive criticism welcome as I know I am nowhere near a real writer. If there's interest I'll work on keeping a schedule for this fic, I promise. **


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